I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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