I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
