I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
