Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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