I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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