is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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