So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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