So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
