Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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