she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize