You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My vagina just recognized that song.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
