Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize