Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
