we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
