I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
