after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize