i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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