He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
