I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
