We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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