I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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