So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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