Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
