peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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