Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
