Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
