Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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