You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm jealous of your bromance
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
