I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
