If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize