And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
