I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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