Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
