Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
