and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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