My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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