She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
