Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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