if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
