So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
