one two three fourrrrnication!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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