i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize