Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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