I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
