I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize