Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
