just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
