Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
