she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's just like the Real World with babies
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
there is puke in my bra ... again
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
