Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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