There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
