i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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