I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
