how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
