do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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