I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
