About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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