So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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