No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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