Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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