But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
