Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize