you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
