all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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