Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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