i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
