if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
