Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
